All in the timing

It seems like just about the time I get my life back in a neat order the universe conspires against me. It can't just order itself in such a way that at the very least I am having one life-changing event at a time transpiring. But no. Why on earth would that happen? It's not necessarily bad this time. In fact most of it is good. But even the good stuff can only be handled one day at a time. I got the word today that we'll be closing at the latest Friday. We're hoping to get it done tomorrow, but we may not have the insurance taken care of. On top of that, my grandfather is dying. That's the bad. It's just a repeat of last year. Almost to the day. I don't know what I'm going to do if I lose another grandparent in my birth month. I suppose I'll handle it just like I did this time last year. We'll see. Also, Steph will be moving down here in a week. While I have some qualms about that (for both Andy's sake and hers) I am excited to have another woman to hang out with. I hope things work out for all parties, but I can't help but be nervous about it (even though Clint thinks I'm an evil, evil person for having adverse thoughts, but that's another story). To top it off, I'm getting even closer to graduation and a real job. It's all moving so fast. I don't know what to think. I want to cling to the walls of the ivory tower of academia, but I can't stay here forever. I don't belong here. I belong out there. It just scares me to think that.

Random tidbit for the day: All In The Timing is the name of one of my favorite collection of short plays. It's amazing. Check it out.

Dealing

You would think with my family history that I would come to expect certain things. For instance, it would be reasonable for me to expect to develop RA, diabetes, heart disease, RLS, and several other odd conditions. But I'm still having trouble coming to terms with the one condition I've managed to inherit - pulmonary supraventricular tachycardia. That's a big fancy word for an electrical disturbance that originates in the ventricular cavity and causes the heart to beat twice in exceedingly rapid succession and then feel as if it is skipping a beat. It's non-lethal in and of itself, but it causes excess blood to build up in the heart which can cause clots. It will also at some point in my life develop into A-fib (atrial fibrillation) which is potentially lethal. I started having severe tachycardia spells about three years ago and have been on beta blockers ever since. Normally the meds keep it under control, but every once in a while it strikes, leaving me unable to function for several days at a time. When it happens just once or on occasion, it's no big deal. But usually when a spell hits me, it will continue unchecked for four to six hours, draining my energy and making me feel as if an alien life form sucked all of my energy out through a suction cup placed on my head.

So why am I posting this ridiculously long explanation of a condition that you don't really care about? I'm curious. How do we deal with conditions that will affect us the rest of our lives? How do we go to bed at night knowing that some day this thing will kill us (if a bus doesn't first?) I haven't gotten to the point of dealing. I'm still angry. I'm still confused. I'm still incredibly disappointed that I will probably never be able to skydive, base jump, or any of those cool things I wanted to do as a kid because people with heart conditions aren't allowed. I know people with conditions that could kill them tomorrow, and they are happier than I was before I developed this stupid thing. Why can't I be there? I want to be there. I want to not care that I feel like crap right now, and that I won't be able to swim for a good week because I simply don't have the energy.

The House

So I've been telling you all about the house via facebook updates, etc but I haven't actually posted anything about it. About a month ago, I was casually looking through a couple of online real estate postings when I came across this cute little farm house in Lufkin. We decided to drive around town and look at a few properties, and we discovered that this property was off a small country road just on the Angelina side of the river. The location is ideal, since Mark works in Lufkin and I work and go to school in Nac. So we set up a time to view the house. And we fell in love with it. It's an old farmhouse, built in 1920 (at least part of the house - I think it was added on to probably in the 50s or 60s), has 2 bedrooms and 1 bath, and is 1400 sq. ft. The living room has a fireplace, and the living room and master bedroom have 12-foot ceilings. The kitchen is dated, but we can work with it. The dining room is perfect for my grandmother's furniture. The second bedroom is...well, tiny. It's going to be a computer room. The bathroom leaves a little to be desired, but it's nothing I can't live with for a while. Oh, did I mention the acre of land it comes with? And the 4 and a half million trees? Our entire yard is shaded, which is very nice (though it will be a pain in the fall). It also has a very cute front porch that extends across the entire front.

So there you have it. I'll post pics as soon as I can get them.