A Tribute

The last words Hollis said to me were this: “Sweetheart, I’m sorry I let you down.” You see, he wanted more than anything to meet my son before he died. But that statement sums up who Hollis Rudd was. He could never do enough for others. Even on his deathbed, all he could think about were the things he was leaving undone. Hollis embodied, perhaps better than anyone I ever knew, the twin commandments of “Love your God with all your heart,” and “Love your neighbor as yourself”. I know he wasn’t perfect. I know he had a temper like no other. I’ve seen it. But that wasn’t who Hollis was. He loved deeply, even if he didn’t always show it. He worshipped deeply, even if he didn’t make every Sunday service. There was nothing he wanted more than to see his family happy, healthy, and successful, and he did what he had to do to make that happen. He was a hard worker, perhaps to a fault. I remember one time he had my brother out mowing the lawn a week after his appendectomy. My mother was absolutely livid. But he instilled that work ethic in his children and grandchildren. He taught us to do what we can for ourselves and for others, and when we reached the end of our strength, to draw on God’s strength and keep on fighting. He also knew the importance of enjoying life. His favorite place in the whole world was right on Grigsby Lake where he could enjoy the outdoors and the simple experience of being alone with God’s creation. Even when he was too weak to work in his yard, he wanted nothing more than to be at the lake. He was also one of the most knowledgeable, thoughtful people I’ve ever met. He wasn’t particularly educated, but that didn’t stop him from learning and analyzing what he’d learned. He was confident in his beliefs, but that didn’t limit his desire to learn about other systems of belief. He was a staunch Democrat, but he loved me even when I was a Republican. (I’m neither now, just FYI. I consider myself a moderate.) He taught us to respect everyone, no matter who they are, what they believe, or how they treat you. But he also taught us to stand up for ourselves. And I think he succeeded in raising his children to be good people. Hollis was a good man, and he will be missed. I already miss him.

Sweet Dreams

I've heard that vivid, strange dreams are a side effect of pregnancy, but I wasn't particularly worried about it since I frequently have vivid, strange dreams. But they weren't kidding. I've had dreams about everything from family members attacking me to CFOs getting upset over thirty minutes' overtime. Normally they don't worry me. But a few nights ago I had a very life-like dream that Lane came three months early (which, if you're counting, would be right NOW). This alone wouldn't be enough to really upset me, except that I've had several previous dreams about pregnancy complications. So I'm a little worried. I know it's silly, because I know the more I worry, the more I'm going to dream about bad things happening. And I've been taking very good care of myself (if you overlook the donuts this morning, that is) so I know that there really should be nothing wrong. I guess I'll just have to fight my subconscious for three more months.