Light At The End

For the past few months I've had this incredible sense of impending doom hanging over my head with the feeling that at any moment, it's all going to come to a sudden, terrific halt and I will have wasted the last few semesters. Today I moved out from under that cloud. Dr. B graded and returned my practicum and I did much better than I anticipated. For those of you with whom I don't speak daily, this practicum of mine has been on the back burner for a semester and a half, looming dark and fearsome with all kinds of implications for the advancement of my studies. It sparked a major controversy that almost put me in the hospital with severe hypertension. It served as a source of guilt and shame. It took an incredible amount of self discipline and self deprecation. And it's over. I got a B. For all the sweat, tears, and mental anguish I've spared over this thing, it turned out to be nothing. I know in my heart of hearts that I'm capable of making an A. But I am more than happy with the B, primarily because it's over half a semester late. But it's there. It's done. I feel like I can breathe easier and kick myself in the pants to get the rest of my work done.

Now for those of you that expected some sort of insightfully witty commentary, I shall share with you my musings for the day. I've been in a sort of funk, for lack of a better word, for some time, and I have been unable to identify what said 'funk' is all about. But today I think I figured it out. I'm bored. I wake up at the same time every day to the same person and the same cat. I get up and follow the same routine. I go to work and scan the same slides. Ok so not the same slides but you get my meaning. I'm missing the point. The point of what? you ask. The point of living. What is the point of living if you don't enjoy it? Why do I get up every day if I don't have at least some expectation of excitement? So I've decided to change a few things about my life. We hold the keys to our own fulfillment, but most of us don't even know we have them, much less where we put them. So I've set about to find these keys. I'll let you know when I find them.

New Blog

So I've recently decided to join the twenty-first century in a number of new and exciting ways, and I supposed that having a real blog should be one of those ways. First, text messaging, then, the world! Or...not.

For those who are curious, my back is feeling much better. I'm able to drive on my own now. I'm still taking the muscle relaxers in the evening so I can get some sleep. Aside from the dull but constant pain, I'm able to mostly get around by myself. I wanted to close this first post by saying something clever, but the drugs have clouded my brain, so I'll just close by saying, I'm here.