My husband and I were at the store yesterday buying a few things, and I needed to pick up face wash, so I did. Well, he felt the need to ask me why I had to buy two different face washes, and that sparked a discussion about the differences between men and women and their morning routines. So, for your reading enjoyment - here is why it takes us so much longer than men. When I get in the shower in the morning, the first thing I do is wash my face. We already established that I use two - one with salycilic acid and one with benzoyl peroxide. If I don't use both of them (and in the correct order) my face looks like a pepperoni pizza. And no one wants that. And I use an exfoliating sponge that I have to wash out in between soaps. The next thing I do is actually shower off. I also use two body washes. The first is a moisturizing body wash (so my skin doesn't feel like alligator scales) and the second is feminine wash (well...). And of course in between using the two I have to wash out my bath puff and that takes time. If I have to shave, well that add another 10 minutes because I simply cannot see in the shower to shave. So if I rush myself you can guarantee there will be blood all over the floor from me attempting to amputate a foot. If I don't have to shave (which I don't do regularly enough) I can move on to washing my hair. Now, guys just don't get this. I can't JUST use shampoo or a 2-in-1. It just doesn't happen. I use specifically designed for brunettes shampoo first, which takes FOREVER to work through my ridiculously thick hair and even longer to wash out. Then I use one, sometimes two conditioners depending on how dry my hair is. If I have to use multiples, I usually use one that requires I leave it in for 2 to 3 minutes. And yes, it takes a mountain of conditioner just to work through my hair. It all get soaked up, because again, my hair is chronically dry. Hokay. Shower's over. Now I get to brush my teeth, bandage any cuts from shaving, put on deodorant and all that fun stuff. More hair stuff. If I decide to go with it straight, I just use two styling products - hair oil and lotion cream (again for the dryness). Then I get to blow-dry it. Yay! That takes another 5-10 minutes. And then if I have to use the straightener we're there for 20. If I go with it curly I have to use mousse and gel in addition to the other two products. But then no drying, so we're good. Oh yes, I forgot about the whole lotion thing. I use Lubriderm on my arms and legs, but that takes like 30 seconds to apply so it's almost not worth mentioning.
Allright. Now I'm ready to get dressed. If I'm not going out, there's no makeup involved, so we're done. Makeup takes about 5 minutes on average because I wear so little. And you know what? I'm still done in the same amount of time it takes my husband to SHOWER. Just to shower. So guys next time you think we're taking too long to get ready, think about all that crap we have to go through just for you. Think about our soft, silky hair or our smooth skin and think about all the work we had to do to get it that way. And don't complain next time we take longer than you think we should. Kay thanks.
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